Article:
By Jayne Seagrave
There was a tension, a tension between her body and her mind. The body wanted satisfaction, it wanted to glow, to feel complete, excited, loved, and then as a result to sleep. It wanted an orgasm. But the mind rationally reminded this was not easily possible, and if attempted would only result in disappointment. Her mind was not in that place. It would be mechanical. It would not be fulfilling. It would result in disappointment.
Her fingers descended downwards, confirming there was little desire, nothing moist, no fluids running, no wetness, little indication this would be more than a wasted effort. But why not try? Laying back she attempted to gently tease the clitoris, labia and vulva, helping to increase the flow of blood, the swelling, the secretion of juices, it did not happen easily or quickly. It did eventually, slowly start to begin.
Extensive reading had informed her the clitoris has over a thousand nerve endings, more than any other part of the body, with its only function being to increase sexual pleasure. Such a small compact body part. Such an important one. She thought of this as beginning to enjoy what she was now successfully doing to herself. Her fingers were moist and her mind focused on the object of her desire. Thousands of miles away, there was a man somewhat difficult to visualise, but present in this act. In successfully imagining they were his fingers, his strokes, his explorations her excitement at last took hold.
Spreading her legs and twisting slightly to one side, she gently moved in a slow rhythmic motion as her sexual organs became wet and her breathing louder. It was not easy, there was almost a resistance which she did not understand. Her body was taking part, but her mind was still not completely there, and this was difficult to ignore. Stroking her nipples did little to help, shifting and moving more intensely, raising her hips and then crossing one leg over the other and continuing the fingering also caused no significant improvement. She knew she would come, it had gone too far, but it was not easy.
She changed position again. One hand held apart the labia while the other played and caressed the clitoris, now large and hard. And her accomplice reappeared. This action worked. One of the bricks in the wall broke free and the orgasm slowly started. Anticipation. The best moment. The time when you could not stop, but you could delay, the time when in delaying, the pleasure is increased. Mind and body were now on side, working together. There was only one objective. Another brick displaced and another and another as the orgasm advanced. No stopping. Let it happen. The wall collapsed. She cried out a little, breathing heavily and groaning as the crescendo rose and fell. Objective achieved.
Laying on her back she only became aware of the tears when they ran into her ears. There had been an orgasm, she should be contented, but there was something missing. There was a body missing. There was the warm flesh of another stroking and holding and lightly kissing after the orgasm. Tonight’s event was a selfish personal action, performed in an anomic bedroom with little emotion. It was not a shared one. Her reluctant mind had been right, rather than leaving her contented it left her empty, disappointed, sad.
There was, however, no regret. It was a learning experience. On this occasion, masturbation could not compensate for “the real thing” and if it is possible to access the genuine encounter, with a warm real body, whose hands and tongue and person can unpredictably play with the body in unanticipated, exciting ways, then this should be pursued. And if this is delayed for a few weeks, then so be it. Better to wait. Better not feel the disappointment, even if it does succeed in producing sleep.
And it did produce sleep…
Jayne Seagrave is a BC Best selling Author. The ninth edition of her book Camping British Columbia, the Rockies and the Yukon was published by Heritage House in April 2023. Over 60,000 of her camping books have been sold. She also writes fiction, non-fiction, freelance articles and occasionally teaches writing and publishing.