Article:

THAT TIME WHEN: ONCE UPON A TIME A WOMAN MET A DIVORCE LAWYER

By Jayne Seagrave

 

A Fairy Tale

Once Upon A Time there was a somewhat insecure women, who found herself needing to speak to a divorce lawyer…

The New Client enters the large, contemporary fifth floor legal offices, just before 10.00am for the much anticipated scheduled appointment with The Divorce Lawyer, who comes highly recommended (you need nothing but the very best in order to successfully end your marriage, well meaning girlfriends stress). The New Client is a little apprehensive, having never met a divorce lawyer before. She knows he will undoubtedly be a man who has had numerous years of formal, university education, who will use words she will not be able to fully understand, let alone spell, and inhibited, she will not have the confidence to seek clarification, even though she is the one who is paying for them to be used. Prior to the long awaited meeting there have been many sleepless nights. She is nervous, apprehensive, and stressed despite telling herself at her age, she should not be suffering insecurities.

Upon stepping onto the deep pile rug, she is put at ease by the The Highly Recommended Divorce Lawyers receptionist, who, with a wide smile and very trendy purple eye wear, greets her as if they were friends at high school together, informing her that he will be a few minutes late. Immediately another, exceptionally well dressed, much younger women with heels only the young can wear, arrives and apologizes again for her employer’s tardiness, (why are women always tasked with making excuses for men?) and the three women start to bond. There is something reassuring dealing with your own sex, even if the other members are better dressed, and born decades after you. The Clients previous apprehension, while still palpable, has been slightly dissolved.

A few minutes later a smiling, suntanned man, full head of well-cut grey hair, in his sixties, enters the plush reception carrying a few papers. He is dressed in an open necked, white, well ironed shirt, blue jacket, and designer jeans. Informal dress yet subtly stating affluence. He confidently starts his welcome with the assurance of a man who has undertaken such greetings on countless occasions over the years.

Knowing he needs to put The Client at ease as it is this individual who will be responsible for his $500.00 an hour fee, in addition to numerous disbursements, he speaks; “Wonderful to meet you, sorry, I had to finish a telephone call, but the next hour I promise is yours”. Flashing his impeccable dental work, she is savvy enough to realise despite his greeting, she is not special. It is an intrinsic part of his work to put clients at ease.

But in this Fairy Story The Gods are on her side and decide to inject some humour into the tension.
First impressions count. This one will not be forgotten. The Client’s gaze is immediately drawn from the face of The Highly Recommended Divorce Lawyer to his jeans. By his crutch there is a large yellow sticker positioned in the region where the penis can be found. As she advances nervously to take his outstretched hand she notices, this label is actually a directional sticky arrow, and in smaller writing in capital, clear letters on the sticker are the words: “SIGN HERE”.

The Client is now in a state of total confusion. Should she take his outstretched hand, ignoring the yellow sign directing her to “sign here” pretending it does not exist? Should she draw his attention to it, with the two other junior female members of staff present, and if she did choose this action would it not be exceedingly embarrassing for all involved? Should she tell him when they are alone in his office, and if she did would this mean the first few moments of the initial meeting would be tarnished, and he may be prejudiced and not work in her best interests? And what if the unfortunate positioning of the yellow arrow was not an accident, and instead the method he employs to greet new clients? This last thought causes her to smirk, then in quickly correcting herself she recovers her composure, reminding herself where and why she is finding herself alone with this man who seems to be oblivious to the large luminous sticker pointing to his penis.

Realising this to be one of the stickers professionals like to use to highlight important information to clients, who they deem can not understand clear instructions, and therefore need direction to identify simple information, The Client decides this was indeed his intention. In discussing her divorce, he did not want her to forget his genitals.

As he leads the way to his office, making small talk on her ability to find parking and the warm temperatures, all trepidation over the reasons why she is here - the emotional termination of a thirty-five-year marriage - dissolves away, and her mind reflects on how often she has suffered intimidation and felt nervous upon meeting another she believes is more intelligent, wiser, more accomplished and worldly wise.

Once Upon A Time - not that long ago - many men and particularly professional men intimidated her. With age these feelings of insecurity have dissipated and now only reappear occasionally, generally occurring when she is tasked with doing something not attempted before. The yellow sticker and its unfortunate positioning acts as a reminder we are all equal. We all make mistakes and have embarrassing moments others witness.

The Client reflects on an interview she heard on the radio while driving to the rendezvous vous, whereupon a famous female athlete is asked to give advice to “their younger self”. If that question had been presented to The Client there would be no hesitation in saying: Once Upon A time there was a young women who was intimidated by people she thought were superior to her, but now, I would tell her, no one is better, it is just that everyone has different experiences, different life chances, different aspirations and that you should never doubt yourself when talking to anyone over any subject, even if this could be embarrassing to them.

“Now please tell me in detail the circumstances that bought you to my office today”. The Highly Recommended Divorce Lawyer cuts into The Clients consciousness and with no hesitation and complete confidence she starts to tell him her story. They are equals.

 

 

Jayne Seagrave is a BC Best selling Author. The ninth edition of her book Camping British Columbia, the Rockies and the Yukon was published by Heritage House in April 2023. Over 60,000 of her camping books have been sold. She also writes fiction, non-fiction, freelance articles and occasionally teaches writing and publishing.